September 27, 2022

‘Very modest individual’ Donald Trump claims he made hole in one

Trump, pictured last year, said he sank a hole in one over the weekend. (Seth Wenig/AP)

 Notorious golf cheater and former U.S. president Donald Trump claimed in a press release Monday night that he recently drained a hole in one, and he spared no detail.

“Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true,” Trump said in a statement that had to be emailed to reporters because he’s banned from major social media sites.

While Trump on Twitter for the last 24 hours would have been a sight to behold, the lack of a character limit for the release really let him rip.

Trump explained that he was playing with Ernie Els (”winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world”) at his own course in West Palm Beach when:

“….on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slightly wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong win, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole. These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t.”

Trump continued:

“Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter about it, quite exciting, and people everywhere seem to be asking for the facts. Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene, Mike, and Ken. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging—and I don’t like people who brag!”

Conveniently, videos have made the rounds of Trump retrieving the ball, and celebrating with Els and company, but none of the shot, yet.